moonfalora:

rexuality:

a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows 

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tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

tom-nippleston:

I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH

OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE

THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS

SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION

"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat

oelm:

artemispanthar:

kasukasukasumisty:

pinkiepiebones:

how do the crystal gems react to steven losing his baby teeth

WHERE DID WE GO WRONG WHERE DID WE GO WROOONG

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*frantically tries to shove them back in*

this is 100000% gold I—-

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zeusyallday:

so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane